Abyanga: The Tender Care of the Grieving Self

Abyanga is the Ayurvedic practice of self-massage with oil—a form of physical self-care that nourishes and grounds the body. While often associated with wellness, abyanga offers grief-workers a crucial reminder: the body grieves too, and caring for it is not indulgence but necessity. Mirabai danced her devotion, moved her body in worship and yearning; her grief was fully embodied. When we create from loss, we must also care for the vessel doing the creating. This means rest, nourishment, touch, gentle movement. Abyanga-inspired practice recognizes that making art while grieving is demanding; we must oil the joints, warm the heart, soothe the nervous system. Creativity needs a cared-for body to flow through. This is not separate from the creative work; it is part of it. By touching ourselves with the tenderness we wish we could offer to what we lost, we learn to grieve in a way that does not drain or harm us, but gradually heals.