Seva: Love as Conscious Service, Not Enmeshment

Seva—service, selfless action—is a cornerstone of bhakti. Mirabai's love expressed itself in service, but not self-abandonment. She gave fully while remaining grounded in her own spiritual practice and integrity. This distinction is crucial for anxiously attached people who often conflate love with self-erasure. They over-function, over-give, shrink their own needs, and then feel resentful—never recognizing they chose to abandon themselves. True seva requires a paradox: you serve from a place of fullness, not depletion. You give what you have, not what you don't. You maintain your own integrity while supporting another's growth. In partner relationships, ask: Am I giving from overflow or from scarcity? Do I maintain my own practices, friendships, and boundaries, or have I funneled all energy to this person? Does my partner feel supported or suffocated? Can they develop while I serve, or do they become dependent? Healthy love includes service—showing up, supporting growth, offering help—but never at the cost of your own foundation. Mirabai's seva toward Krishna deepened her own spiritual practice; it didn't diminish her. Your love should expand you both, not deplete one to feed the other.