Kleshas: The Five Relational Distortions

The Yoga Sutras identify five kleshas (afflictions): ignorance, egoism, attachment, aversion, and fear of death. In adult relationships, these manifest as relational distortions. Ignorance appears as misreading partner's intentions; egoism as defensive reactivity; attachment as possessive clinging; aversion as critical withdrawal; fear of death as abandonment anxiety. Patanjali's framework reveals that insecure attachment isn't a character flaw but a predictable distortion arising from these five mental patterns. When your partner disappoints you, ignorance blinds you to their genuine intention while egoism makes it about your worth. Recognizing these kleshas operating helps you pause before reacting from attachment wounds. Rather than fighting these patterns directly, Patanjali suggests observing them with detachment—noticing 'here is my abandonment fear' rather than 'my partner is abandoning me.' This witnessing itself begins to dissolve their power over your relational choices.