Attention as the Currency of Love
Favoritism depletes our finite attention, scattering presence among preferences rather than fully inhabiting each connection.
RabiaIn Rabia's tradition, attention itself is understood as the primary expression of love—the gift of presence, undistracted consciousness, genuine encounter. Favoritism fragments this precious resource, directing full attention to selected people while others receive the diminished remainder. This creates a cascading injury: the favored, sensing they're loved conditionally (based on their chosen status), cannot fully relax into authentic connection; the excluded, experiencing partial attention, internalize the message that they are lesser; and the person practicing favoritism exhausts themselves managing the careful distribution of their presence. Rabia modeled a different practice: she offered complete, present attention to whoever stood before her, whether saint or beggar. Her tradition teaches that love's true medium is full attention, not strategic allocation based on preference. The cost of favoritism's fragmented attention is immense—we miss the actual person in front of us, seeing instead our investment in them or our anxiety about their status. Redirecting our attention toward equitable presence doesn't diminish love but deepens it, enabling genuine encounter and authentic belonging for all.
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