Burning Away the Separated Self

Rabia's mystical path involved radical dissolution of ego boundaries—the 'I' that claims separateness from the beloved. In attachment parenting, this appears as the willingness to let your child's needs and your needs become temporarily woven together, especially in early years. This doesn't mean losing yourself entirely; it means recognizing that the boundary between 'my needs' and 'the baby's needs' is more porous than Western individualism suggests. Rabia would recognize this as love-work: the gradual softening of the defended self. Parents who practice this report paradoxical freedom—less resentment about sacrifice when you've released the illusion of a separate self being sacrificed. Attachment parenting becomes less exhausting when you stop fighting the fundamental interdependence.