Talk it through with Aurelius
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Aurelius · Work & Leadership
Knowledge + Guidance

How do I ask for a referral without it being awkward?

You know people who could put your name forward and every version of the message sounds like begging. So you send the vague one, or you send nothing.

◆ How this problem reads on the two dials
GuidanceKnowledge
Some coaching
More to learn
1:1 with AureliusWith others (a Pod)
You & the coach
Practise with peers
CRAFT. The awkwardness comes from the shape of the ask, not from the relationship. A specific ask with forwardable text costs the other person nothing, and that is a knowable technique.
How the two dials adapt to you →
What’s really going on

The awkwardness is almost always in the ask, not the friendship. A vague ask hands someone homework; a specific one with the words already written costs them thirty seconds.

🔒 What you’ll build togetherUnlock by starting
KnowledgeThe referral ask that is easy to say yes to
A moveName what you think you are costing them. It is usually far less than you imagine, and asking lets them decide.

What changes unlock by starting

  • You ask for a specific role rather than for vigilance.
  • You hand over text they can forward without composing anything.
  • You leave a genuine way to decline, which makes yes easier.
One object, two jobs: a public answer to a real problem, and — the moment you start the chat — Aurelius’s live plan for your version of it.