Why am I waiting for them to call first?

Here is what is really happening: you have decided the first move costs something, and you are not willing to pay it. But look closer. That cost is not humility — it is fear dressed up as dignity. Fear of being the one who cared more. Fear of reaching out and getting silence back. Time does not heal this the way people say it does. It just adds more days between you and the moment you almost called. Each day makes the silence feel more like a decision, when really it was just a habit that hardened. So the real question is not "who should go first." It is: what do you actually want? If you want to be right, keep waiting. If you want your friend, love does not count turns.