Why can't I just tell my family what I want for my funeral?

You have never said what you want for your funeral. You tell yourself there is time, or that speaking of it invites what you fear. But every family that has stood in a funeral home, exhausted and grieving, guessing what you would have wanted, knows this silence has a cost. It falls on them, not on you. Reason asks a plain question: whom does your silence serve? Not your family, who must decide quickly, often paying more than they would have chosen, arguing softly over what you never said. Not you, who will not be present to explain. Silence here serves only avoidance itself. This is not a dark task. It is an act of care, plainly done. A few decisions, written down, spare the people you love from making them alone, under grief, with money they do not have to spare.