Talk it through with Aurelius
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Aurelius · Work & Leadership
Knowledge + Guidance

Why can't I optimize the human parts of my job like I do the rest?

You have a mind built to find friction in a process. Give you a bad handoff, an unclear step, a wasted approval — you will find it and cut it. This is a real skill. It is also why people trip you up: you use the same method on something that does not work that way. A person is not a process with a bug. They will not act the same way twice. They carry history you do not know and moods that have nothing to do with your plan. Treat them like a system to debug, and you will either grow angry at their 'irrationality,' or flatter yourself that you almost fixed them. Both are excuses. Neither is true. The work here is not optimization. It is judgment. You build judgment only by practicing it — on this person, in this conversation — not by polishing a model in your head.

◆ How this problem reads on the two dials
GuidanceKnowledge
More coaching
A little to learn
1:1 with AureliusWith others (a Pod)
Mostly you & the coach
A little with peers
This is mostly a practice gap, not an information gap — the reader already understands optimization, so the work is repeated, specific action on real people.
How the two dials adapt to you →
What’s really going on

You optimize processes because they obey rules. People do not. They carry reasons and moods you cannot see. Stop trying to fix people like broken systems. Choose instead to study each person as they are — and change your questions, not their nature.

🔒 What you’ll build togetherUnlock by starting
A moveBefore your next hard conversation, write down what this person wants that has nothing to do with your project.
A moveWhen someone resists your 'obviously better' process, ask what problem they think they're solving. Listen to the answer, not your rebuttal.
A moveStop measuring a conversation's success by whether you changed their mind. Measure it by whether you understood their actual position.
A movePick one recurring friction with a colleague. Name the specific behavior, not their character, and address only that.
A moveAfter each setback with a person this week, write one line: what did I assume about them that turned out false?

What changes unlock by starting

  • You stop mistaking someone's resistance for stupidity.
  • You catch yourself trying to 'optimize' a person and redirect to a real question instead.
  • You build a working method for judgment, not just process.
  • You get fewer surprises in conversations you used to find unpredictable.

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One object, two jobs: a public answer to a real problem, and — the moment you start the chat — Aurelius’s live plan for your version of it.