Why do I buy my kids toys but never play with them myself?
A man bought his donkey the softest saddle in the market. Sweet hay, a warm blanket, bells that sang when it walked. Every evening he groomed it by lamplight. His neighbor asked, 'And when do you ride?' The man said, 'Oh, I don't ride. This comfort is for the donkey.' The neighbor looked at the man's own tired feet and said nothing more. You've done the same with the trampoline, the bikes, the paints. You bought comfort for someone else and stood outside it, calling that generosity. Meanwhile your own feet stay tired. This isn't really about the kids — it's about a rule you never agreed to: that play is theirs to have and yours to fund. Your partner or pod probably does the same dance — everyone funding joy, no one claiming it. That's worth noticing together, out loud, before you buy the next thing.
The trampoline was never only for them. You bought play equipment and quietly excused yourself from playing. That's the trick: joy got labeled a child's job, and you became the manager. Put your own feet on the mat — it was always big enough for you too.
What changes unlock by starting
- You use one piece of the equipment yourself within a week.
- Someone in your pod or family notices and joins in.
- You stop treating play as a resource only children are allowed to spend.
- Family play time starts including you as a player, not a supervisor.