Why Do I Just Watch While My Partner Plays?

At my nephew's wedding, everyone danced except my uncle Yusuf. He stood by the wall holding four coats, two purses, and a child who was not his. 'Yusuf,' I said, 'whose child is this?' He said, 'I don't know. But someone had to hold something.' Nobody had asked him. He had simply appointed himself Minister of Standing Still. This happens in a partnership too. One person plays — chess, trail running, pottery, cards with friends. The other becomes the Minister of Logistics. Keeper of reservations. Watcher of coats. It looks like support. Sometimes it is only hiding, with excellent posture. Here is the honest question: did your partner ask you to manage instead of play? Or did you decide, quietly, that play was theirs and logistics was yours? Most people never noticed themselves making that trade. They just noticed, years later, that they were tired and their partner was having fun without them.