Why do I notice delight and never say it out loud?

One day Nasreddin saw a crow trying to walk like a pigeon. He laughed so hard he had to sit down. His neighbor asked, 'What is so funny?' Nasreddin said, 'Nothing,' and walked on, still laughing on the inside. That night his wife asked how his day was. 'Fine,' he said. He did not mention the crow. Now the crow, and the joke, belonged only to him — and slowly, over years, he stopped noticing crows at all. You collect these moments — a strange shadow, an absurd sentence, a joy nobody else saw — and set them down inside yourself like coins in a jar nobody knows exists. Your pod does not know the jar is there. That is the whole problem, and it is a solvable one.