Why does every game I play turn into a contest?
One day my donkey and I raced down the hill against my neighbor's donkey, just to feel the wind. Halfway down, my neighbor shouted, 'I'm ahead of you!' And just like that, the hill stopped being a hill. It became a scoreboard. This is what happened to your body, probably years ago. Somewhere between childhood and calendars full of meetings, every physical thing turned into a contest. Who's faster. Who logged more. Who's winning at getting fit. The game of tag became a league table with standings. This isn't about needing more exercise. You likely get plenty, all of it ranked. What's gone missing is the version where nobody is keeping score — and you can't build that alone, because someone always needs to agree to stop counting with you.
You didn't lose the ability to play — you lost the permission. Somewhere along the way, every physical thing got a scoreboard nailed to it. The fix isn't finding more time. It's finding people willing to move badly, pointlessly, on purpose, with you — and catching yourselves the moment someone starts counting.
What changes unlock by starting
- You catch yourself trying to keep score, mid-activity, and can name it out loud
- Your pod builds a shared phrase for 'this turned into a contest, let's reset'
- You feel physical joy again with no outcome attached to it
- The group trusts each other more, because for one hour, nobody was being ranked