The short answer
You got promoted out of the work you loved. The title moved up, but your sense of purpose stayed in the classroom. The fix isn't to quit the role — it's to rebuild small, direct ties to students inside it, so the job feels like yours again.
You took this role to help more kids. But leadership in special ed often means budget fights, paperwork, and managing adults — not the direct student work that drew you in. Research on special education teacher burnout points to exactly this: when teachers lose their connection to students and feel like they can't do the work they trained for, the job starts to hollow out. That's not weakness. That's a structural mismatch between the role and the reason you showed up.
Marcus Aurelius wrote about learning 'manlike behaviour' — meaning steady, grounded action that fits who you actually are. The lesson isn't about toughness. It's about staying true to your character even as your circumstances change. You became a department lead, but you're still the person who chose this field for a reason. The role doesn't erase that. You get to decide what kind of lead you are.
This week, carve out one protected block of time to work directly with a student or a small group — even one hour. Tell your principal or supervisor it's non-negotiable for you to stay sharp as an instructional leader. It's true, and it gives the boundary a reason. One direct connection won't fix everything, but it will remind you why you're there — and that memory is a real tool.