Talk it through with Juana
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Juana · Identity & Justice
Knowledge + Guidance

Why Do I Let People Say My Name Wrong?

You let it go the first few times. Then it became a habit, and habits feel like peace. But this one costs you something small every single day — a tiny disappearing act, performed on command. Here is the system at work: you were taught, somewhere, that correcting a mispronunciation is rude, that the other person's ease outranks your name. This is not manners. It is a rule that asks you to vanish quietly so no one feels awkward. I know this rule. I was told, as a woman and a nun, that my silence kept the peace too. Your name is not a request. It is a fact about you, offered freely to anyone willing to say it. Reclaiming it is not an imposition — it is an act of plain honesty, and honesty, spoken gently, rarely wounds anyone worth keeping near.

◆ How this problem reads on the two dials
GuidanceKnowledge
More coaching
A little to learn
1:1 with JuanaWith others (a Pod)
Mostly you & the coach
A little with peers
The person understands the pattern already; what they need most is a workable way to practice correcting, so the page leans toward guidance.
How the two dials adapt to you →
What’s really going on

You stopped correcting people because each correction felt like a small tax on someone else's comfort, and you decided to pay it yourself instead. That was not weakness — it was a calculation. But the bill comes due daily, in your own mouth, every time you answer to a name that is not quite yours.

🔒 What you’ll build togetherUnlock by starting
A moveWrite out your name's correct pronunciation, broken into simple sounds, and say it aloud ten times until it feels ordinary in your own mouth.
A movePick one person you see often — a coworker, a barista — and correct them once, plainly: 'It's actually pronounced ___.' No apology attached.
A movePrepare one light, low-stakes line for repeat offenders: 'You're close — one more try?' Humor removes the sting for both of you.
A moveAdd your name's phonetic spelling to your email signature or introduction. Let the correction happen without you having to say it aloud.
A moveNotice the urge to let it slide 'just this once,' and treat it as information: that urge is the old rule talking, not good manners.

What changes unlock by starting

  • You correct people without the flush of guilt that used to stop you.
  • More people around you say your name right, more often, without ongoing effort.
  • The small daily flinch of hearing it wrong starts to fade.
  • You notice, and can name, the old rule that told you silence was politeness.

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