My will doesn't say who I am anymore — where do I start?

You wrote this will as a different person, in different rooms, with different people around you. That is not a failure. Circumstances change, and reason expects that. The failure is only in leaving the document frozen while your life keeps moving. Most people delay this because it feels heavy — like reopening old griefs or naming who is now close and who is not. But an outdated will does something worse than an uncomfortable conversation: it quietly excludes people who now matter, and quietly includes arrangements that no longer reflect what you value. Do this with the people it affects, not alone in your head. A will drafted in isolation, then sprung on others later, serves no one well. Reason asks you to bring your household, your partner, or your pod into the process now, while you can still explain your thinking.