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Aurelius · Work & Leadership
Knowledge + Guidance

Why do people keep skipping their manager and coming straight to me?

You did not build a weak structure. You built a structure and then stood next to it, undermining it, one convenient yes at a time. The manager was not bypassed by the employee. The manager was bypassed by you, because saying yes felt faster, kinder, easier than saying "ask your manager first." This is not about the employees who skip the chain. They will always go where the power actually sits. Right now, that is you, not the managers you appointed. You cannot complain about a broken structure you are personally breaking, several times a week, in small painless moments that add up to no structure at all. Your team is watching what you do, not what the org chart says. If you decide fast and warmly for people who skip their manager, you have announced, clearly, that the manager's decisions are provisional and yours are final. No memo will undo that. Only your next refusal will.

◆ How this problem reads on the two dials
GuidanceKnowledge
More coaching
A little to learn
1:1 with AureliusWith others (a Pod)
Some one-to-one
Practise with peers
The concept (authority erodes through your own small yeses) is simple; the hard part is building the discipline to actually redirect, so guidance dominates.
How the two dials adapt to you →
What’s really going on

Because you taught them to. Every time you say yes to a skipped-level request, you tell the room that the manager's word is optional. The fix is not a policy. It is your next answer: send the person back, undecided, before you speak.

🔒 What you’ll build togetherUnlock by starting
A moveWhen someone skips their manager, ask one question: "What did your manager say?" If they haven't asked, send them back before you say anything else.
A moveIf a manager already said no and the person came to you anyway, back the manager's no, even if you'd have said yes. Bring your disagreement to the manager privately, later.
A moveTell your managers, out loud and specifically: "If someone skips you, send them back to you. I will send them back too." Make this a stated rule, not an assumption.
A moveTrack your own yeses for two weeks. Count how many times you decided something that belonged to a manager. The number will tell you the truth.
A moveWhen you must override a manager, do it with the manager in the room or looped in same day. Never let the employee be the one who tells the manager what you decided.
PractiseThe Bypass Audit · a Pod of 4 · 30 min

What changes unlock by starting

  • Managers start hearing requests that used to skip straight to you
  • You catch yourself before saying yes, and redirect instead
  • Fewer employees test the chain of command because it holds
  • Your managers make more real decisions, and you make fewer small ones

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One object, two jobs: a public answer to a real problem, and — the moment you start the chat — Aurelius’s live plan for your version of it.